i thought that i could miss it
but i heard the sound
stomach falling through me
because i turned around

i know that you can feel me
burning through your ground
i didn't know that i hurt you
until i saw you drown

i feel every muscle when you glare at me
i painted you a picture
but it's not what you see
now i know
i was the monster
i'm probably diseased
i thought it was love language
i thought you'd admire me

i could say i'm sorry but that won't bring it back
so maybe i can lock myself inside my head
fill the holes and close the cracks

maybe it's true
i'm delusional, obsessed, deranged and aloof
but i finally realise and sometimes accept
that i am
nothing to you