The light is pouring in, and it is a blurred line between hope and fear. A fissure in this casing grows into a crack, and then it all lets loose. Like waking up in fog, the light burns it away. This separateness is a killer, severing my connection to God, and all of the loss that entails. But now instead of seeking solace in a chemical illusion, I can look within and just watch it go. This is what you wanted. An open heart, a willingness to learn acceptance.