she lays on one side,
and he lays on the other.
✦
she is a beautiful flower against the brutalist landscape,
he, thistle and thorn on a path rightfully left untrodden.
✦
she is an ornate nib against the parchment, gliding with grace,
he, a metal implement against the wood, etching with fire.
✦
she is my first musing in the early morning,
he, my final contemplation at night.
✦
she is the uplifting ionian in a chord progression,
he, the dark, dissonant sharp iv of the fanciful lydian.
✦
she smiles,
he frowns.
✦
i know i can't keep fetishizing the idea of compromise.
s o g e t o u t o f m y h e a d,
and croon the dirge with me.
✦
no more rifts or ultimatums, please.
please...
i can't be alone any longer.
✦
don't make me choose right now.
no. NO.
just hold me tight,
and tell me things will get better.
✦
in my nightstand, there lies a bottle of pills
(some old opioids, i think)
and a paring knife.
✦
you both are the reason i don't pick up either.
both of you are my lifeline...
no more rifts or ultimatums, please.
just both of you, and me.
✦
can you love two people at once?
i thought i was better. i thought i was healed. but like a vice that you never truly escape, my past has come back to haunt me. it's alright though. i see a light at the end of the tunnel and writing this helped me get a little closer to it. i just need to wait out the night.
inspired by Scott's "Small Rituals":
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3081847/small-rituals/