Apr 2019
Just when I thought it was over
Just when I thought I was sober
No longer sniffing fantasies and what ifs
Through my nostril
Chasing closure at the end of bottles
Thought I turned memories into fossils
Following ways of apostles
Letting loose of loves false gospels
Now I’m trying to resurrect fossils
The Judas in the mist of apostles
Betrayed my mind for my hearts lust
Laid down my heart as dust
Baptized in tears consumed by must
Cause my spirit to cuss
My pride to combust
Self love to Rust
The mirror to look at me in disgust
God to question my trust
Yet laid down my heart as gold dust
Knowing you’d throw it away
Fast forward you threw it away p
No less to say
I’m a crackhead, addicted
Screaming girl power yet a deceived head, Conflicted
My first taste was sour, dreamed of dying flowers and me crying for hours before we began I knew, predicted
Covered my eyes with your love my ears with your lies made my spirit numb inside, restricted
Years later I’m still here addicted
To your mind waves
carried by your false sound waves
carried by the waves of deception
I swear love and pain has a unusual connection
Sprinkled with a salt of depression
Tide by the rope of obsession
Got me reading books on reflection
Yet my self reflection laughs at my self destruction is this really how love is supposed to function?
I told myself I’d never be in this state of mind again,
Yet I’m in this state of mind again
In the county of trying to find a friend
In the city of trying to find a man
On the street of searching for you again
Next to you don’t want me anymore Avenue
Yet my blue heart still waits for you
Craves for you
Views past all we’ve been through for you
My emotions is a zoo and you’re the keeper I glued myself to you
Know this is true I brewed myself to you
My tears have become accustomed to my cheeks,
My mind reeks of a heart that collapsed
Thought I was cleaned but here again, relapsed
And you, there just relaxed
Broke my walls the alpha who marked his territory
Your mark teared a story of a young strong black girl, to a weak addict
and I’ve had it.
Just when I thought I was sober
No longer sniffing fantasies and what ifs
Through my nostril
Chasing closure at the end of bottles
Thought I turned memories into fossils
Following ways of apostles
Letting loose of loves false gospels
Now I’m trying to resurrect fossils
The Judas in the mist of apostles
Betrayed my mind for my hearts lust
Laid down my heart as dust
Baptized in tears consumed by must
Cause my spirit to cuss
My pride to combust
Self love to Rust
The mirror to look at me in disgust
God to question my trust
Yet laid down my heart as gold dust
Knowing you’d throw it away
Fast forward you threw it away p
No less to say
I’m a crackhead, addicted
Screaming girl power yet a deceived head, Conflicted
My first taste was sour, dreamed of dying flowers and me crying for hours before we began I knew, predicted
Covered my eyes with your love my ears with your lies made my spirit numb inside, restricted
Years later I’m still here addicted
To your mind waves
carried by your false sound waves
carried by the waves of deception
I swear love and pain has a unusual connection
Sprinkled with a salt of depression
Tide by the rope of obsession
Got me reading books on reflection
Yet my self reflection laughs at my self destruction is this really how love is supposed to function?
I told myself I’d never be in this state of mind again,
Yet I’m in this state of mind again
In the county of trying to find a friend
In the city of trying to find a man
On the street of searching for you again
Next to you don’t want me anymore Avenue
Yet my blue heart still waits for you
Craves for you
Views past all we’ve been through for you
My emotions is a zoo and you’re the keeper I glued myself to you
Know this is true I brewed myself to you
My tears have become accustomed to my cheeks,
My mind reeks of a heart that collapsed
Thought I was cleaned but here again, relapsed
And you, there just relaxed
Broke my walls the alpha who marked his territory
Your mark teared a story of a young strong black girl, to a weak addict
and I’ve had it.
