When it's all said and done
As it rolls around again
Think I'll make a run
For president

From the fiasco I've seen
Of all those in the ring
They all make it look easy
Cheesy breezy

I'll promise them this
While giving them that
And never admit
When I leave out the facts

I'll wear an American flag pin
So I'm not penned communist
While promising that
And giving them this

I'll scream at some
At the top of my lungs
And when asked of my past
I'll play it dumb

I will promise to free
Those in poverty
If they would just kindly
Give a donation to me

I will shake all the babies
And kiss a few hands
Wait...can I have a do over
On what I just said?

I will kiss all the babies
And shake a few hands
There...that's more like it
**** you auto correct!

I'll promise it all
Without skipping a beat
The straights will say Yay
While the gays dance in the street

I'll perfect the one liners
Like, it's the economy stupid
Then ship jobs to China
When no one is looking

When asked what I've done
I'll avoid the question
Until eyes start to glaze
And boredom sets in

I'll go to war
If one need be fought
Or take out a loan
If peace can be bought

Then in another four years
When all this goes bad
I'll run with the slogan
Let's forget about the past

Cause if it can be done
By all these morons
Then it can be done
By most anyone