I realized something today
I don't miss you
I miss the feeling
I had with you
But I don't miss you
I don't miss your eyes
Or your poisonous tongue
I don't miss the traps you laid for me
The words you spoke to me
The way you made me feel
...
Helpless
Your love set me on fire
I was full of everything
And nothing for you
You consumed me and I thought
I thought that it was beautiful
But your love left me broken
Cracked me wide open
Displayed my feelings and emotions
Like a joke
Was I a joke to you?
You ripped me apart
Then fell into my arms
Your tears filling up the place
Where mine were supposed to go
You were sorry
You said it a hundred times
But the parts of you that were honest
Couldn't outweigh your deceit
Your guilt
Your cunning
You were such a masterful man
A protege of your kind
A well practiced manipulator
There was a kind of fascination
In the way you handled your lies
A sweetness to the way they were delivered
Your craft
Was a delicate one
And you executed it with precision
A true artist
In the way you deceived me
And oh, I was deceived
Tricked
Fooled
Played
I fell for you so rapidly
So intensely
So powerfully
That the landing crushed me
Broke every bone in my body
And ground them into dust
The impact knocked the air from me
Forcing my lungs to deflate
So quickly
That it felt like I'd never known
What breathing was
I crashed to the floor
Twisted and gnarled and shattered
I was a contorted mess
But my broken face smiled
Looking back
It was a rather gruesome smile
But I truly believed my life
Was beautiful then
How sickening to remember that
To see myself from this distance and know
Nothing was beautiful
But there you were
Cradling my fragile head
Tracing your fingers
Through the blood on my lips
And you whispered you loved me
You were there for me
You could heal me
Little did I realize
You were the one hurting me
Watching me splinter like glass
And pressing on the weakest points
An artist indeed
Watching your spiderweb bloom in me
Hungry for more
Your passion for my pain is palpable now
And it's funny
I used to think it was your passion for me