You are my best friend.
I never want to hurt you.
I love you.
I can't keep things from you.
I am afraid of what I have to say.
I am in love with you.
I hate it. I hate that I feel that way.
I feel like I am betraying you for feeling that way.
I realized it when you left.
I cried when you left, because I missed you in ways I couldn't understand.
I realized it later that night.
I love you, and I am in love with you.
You have changed my life, in ways you can never understand.
You taught me how to feel again.
You taught me how to talk about feelings again.
You taught me how to write about feelings again.
You made me realize everything wrong with me.
You made me realize that it wasn't all my fault.
You gave me a reason to want to be better.
You made me want to be better for myself, not out of greed or spite or some false belief that I needed to be stronger than everyone else.
You became my best friend.
You loved me. I loved you.
You made me feel happy, genuinely happy, something that I didn't really think I could still feel.
You let me cry in your car.
You trusted me. I trust you.
Because of that, because of all that you have done for me, I have the capacity to be in love.
I am in love with you.
I hate it.
I know you don't want that.
I know that you don't want to hear this.
I am too afraid to say it to your face.
I am too afraid that I won't get through it all.
I am too afraid that this will hurt you, that it will destroy your trust in me, That you will hate me.
I understand how you feel, about not wanting to ruin a friendship with your feelings.
I am afraid that I would not be able to be your friend without telling you the truth.
the ugly, painful, horrible truth.
I love you more than I can express.
I don't want this to change things between us.
I know it will.
I want to be your friend. I don't want to be in love with you.
Right now I am.
I am so sorry.