i wish i never told you
i wish i never said
what had been so long in my head
and my heart
now we're stuck pretending we didn't
feel what we felt
stolen moments we will never tell
friends? ha. that sounds like hell

you played me, and you did it well
i looked where you wanted me to look
just another stupid person in the crowd of your magic show
i saw the magic and not the trick,
i didn't see what happened behind you
why did you have to do it to me too?

i can't stop thinking about what could have been,
every time your leg brushes mine under the table,
every time you smile,
every time you laugh and look at me, waiting for me to laugh too.
i play that night in your room over and over in my mind
my first time thinking "i love you"
i'm glad i didn't say it

because you didn't
and it's the hardest thing for me to listen
to sad songs and admit it
it's over.
an anti-climactic ending, really
all the pieces of my heart i shared over so many months
all those little sparks, well,
they burned out.
i wonder if you ever wanted anything to happen,
if that was even in the rigged deck of cards you have,
even though i see the con-man now,
my mind still sees the magician when you walk in,
because the first time i ever saw magic,
it was you.