Today I showered for the first time in 6 days / I changed my clothes after 2 weeks / somehow it all feels better this way /

I ate breakfast at the table / alone / and I didn’t cry / I sat there for longer than I had to / let the sun from my windows warm me up / and for the first time in months / I felt okay again /

I took a nap mid day / worried I’d wake up further behind than I was before / but my chest was still light / my bones weren’t weighing me down / I’m beginning to see / that happiness can last more than an hour /

Tonight I’ll go to the store / I’ll buy food I probably won’t eat / and I’ll see someone I went to high school with / and maybe I’ll cry in the bathroom / but maybe I won’t / I’m learning how to deal with other people seeing me /

I don’t know if I’ll feel this way tomorrow / or if I’ll wear these clothes for 3 weeks / not leaving my bed / but I pray tomorrow is easier / I hope I’ll wake up and see the sun / eat lunch somewhere other than my bed / I hope my body remains light / like it’s supposed to be /