i don't want to write
because i know if i do
i'll only be staring back
at reflections of you

but my words have been silenced
for long enough, they cry
to be let out
to be shouted to the sky

it's hard to remain
so calm and even-keeled
when i'm stitching shut a wound
that isn't ready to be healed

but i'm back on my feet
i've gotten off my knees
learning that i'm the only one
i need to please

you can call me cold
i really don't care
but for once i feel okay-
i'm becoming happy, i swear

it's been about three weeks
and he's still constantly on my mind
and while each thought reminds me
of a better time

i'm unlearning the taste
of his lips and his words
forgetting what it felt like
to be someone's "girl"

because being with him made me forget
that i am my own
i don't belong to him or
anyone else
and i am my home

if  you want to make "home" a person
don't make it anyone but you
you're the only one guaranteed
not to just pass through

so i guess this is the start
of my journey to self-love
of acceptance and growth
and belief in the above

and while i'm still not great
i know i'll be there on my own
so thank you, ex-lover,
for teaching me how to be alone.
-a.c.b