The pain
        The agony
Like learning to live again
Without everything you love.
The nightmares
         The horror
of everything black and blue
Grey and brown hues.
Reality zooming in
           Dreams phasing out
Oh but for alternate reality
to have what I badly want.
The noise
       The silence
I would give for explosions
and implosions too.
The chaos
         The order
It's a bundle of contradictions
Scattered in the recesses
Of my mind.