the first time that i was kissed
we stood on a bridge
fingers locked
you smelled like bubblegum
and your freckles looked like stars
your hands pressed into my waist
but i can’t remember your hands
without remembering
waking up,
hands tied to the headboard of your bed,
silk ribbons pressing into my wrist
a sloppy mouth on my neck
when i remember my first kiss
all i remember is
being desperate to tell you
no
no
no
your voice as you whispered
you’ll do this if you love me
i remember
staring at the lanterns on your ceiling
hoping it will be over soon
when i think of my first kiss
all i can think of is hands
but hands that don’t stay
at my waist