Nowhere is it more palpable,
than it is here, in Tullamore.

Offaly Obvious, just another
form of bog eyed mendacity.

The oftener one consumes, it
is less culpable they become.

When there's a Birr in the
month, more is the mandate.

Fake Dews is addictive, each
day one requires hair of the dogs.

Esto Fideles is their motto, stay
with us, we'll keep you right!

                (not)