Jan 2019
The Obstacle
She begins with a tight grip as any pirate would cling to a treasure found. But you are a wild horse who cannot live in containment and though you try, she knows you want to gallop your way out of the tiny fence she built. Derived by her hurting pride, she pushes you away. She acts so cold and uptight as though she does not need you but she terribly does. She torments herself in your absence and make believe in the new life she is building; a happy life free of her attachment from you. Her heart yearns for you and your company but you’ll never know. She’s a great actress and she puts up a great show effortlessly. She’s had practice as early as childhood, she has done this for years.
The Grip
Fate favors your friendship once again. You find your way into each other’s arms because life happens. You are stronger and wiser now, you do not let the small smudges ruin a beautiful picture. In this moment, you are certain to keep this friendship forever. In fact, she no longer sees you as a friend. You are family. She accepts your toxic traits as you have accepted hers. She picks you up from your mess as you do to her. Her father left her when she was young, she felt betrayed and she only knew the feeling of betrayal until there was you. Even when you betrayed her once. You were her constant though she wasn’t yours. She believes you both have ****** families and you are now her rock. Often times when she feels she is losing you, she goes back to the beginning of the cycle until she feels the same security again and again and again. She tightens her grip on you now as she thinks you cannot lose her. She has stood by you and you will stand by her. Always. Constant.
The Reckoning
She is delighted when you are happy but she feels threatened when your happiness turns into something serious. She needs to make sure that she is constant. It is important. She needs to be constant no matter how many people comes into both of your lives. She feels that it is her responsibility to make sure you are with the right person and she will not accept anyone less than perfect. Like a mother giving away her child to the person they are fated to love, she is having the hardest time. But she is not your mother, she is only your friend and her actions will never be understood. She is possessive of the people she loves when she feels the same love back even if it is not in the same amount. People that love her are her treasures. She will cling to them like any pirate would. She will repeat her cycle of push and pull over and over and over only to feel important. She always told people to love themselves fiercely as though she did not struggle to love hers. Finally, the day came where exhaustion conquered love. She blames her heart, her need for attachment and her illusion of constants.
She begins with a tight grip as any pirate would cling to a treasure found. But you are a wild horse who cannot live in containment and though you try, she knows you want to gallop your way out of the tiny fence she built. Derived by her hurting pride, she pushes you away. She acts so cold and uptight as though she does not need you but she terribly does. She torments herself in your absence and make believe in the new life she is building; a happy life free of her attachment from you. Her heart yearns for you and your company but you’ll never know. She’s a great actress and she puts up a great show effortlessly. She’s had practice as early as childhood, she has done this for years.
The Grip
Fate favors your friendship once again. You find your way into each other’s arms because life happens. You are stronger and wiser now, you do not let the small smudges ruin a beautiful picture. In this moment, you are certain to keep this friendship forever. In fact, she no longer sees you as a friend. You are family. She accepts your toxic traits as you have accepted hers. She picks you up from your mess as you do to her. Her father left her when she was young, she felt betrayed and she only knew the feeling of betrayal until there was you. Even when you betrayed her once. You were her constant though she wasn’t yours. She believes you both have ****** families and you are now her rock. Often times when she feels she is losing you, she goes back to the beginning of the cycle until she feels the same security again and again and again. She tightens her grip on you now as she thinks you cannot lose her. She has stood by you and you will stand by her. Always. Constant.
The Reckoning
She is delighted when you are happy but she feels threatened when your happiness turns into something serious. She needs to make sure that she is constant. It is important. She needs to be constant no matter how many people comes into both of your lives. She feels that it is her responsibility to make sure you are with the right person and she will not accept anyone less than perfect. Like a mother giving away her child to the person they are fated to love, she is having the hardest time. But she is not your mother, she is only your friend and her actions will never be understood. She is possessive of the people she loves when she feels the same love back even if it is not in the same amount. People that love her are her treasures. She will cling to them like any pirate would. She will repeat her cycle of push and pull over and over and over only to feel important. She always told people to love themselves fiercely as though she did not struggle to love hers. Finally, the day came where exhaustion conquered love. She blames her heart, her need for attachment and her illusion of constants.
