I woke up to a stranger
In my room today
She had the same eyes
Same color blue
Same shape and big
Like two full moons
But where mine were soft
Playful at the edges
Hers had hardened
And filled with a deep sorrow
That made my bones quiver
Her mouth was the same too
Not too full
But soft and pink
Still
She carried mistrust around them
In the way she kept them pursed
And pressed
Gone were the laugh lines
And in their place
Were lines of grief and bitterness
I woke up and saw her
Sitting at the edge of my bed
Looking far more tired than I
Looking far more worn
She reached out as I did
But her hands hesitated
Her eyes pinched
Her throat moved as if she was swallowing
And I felt her pain in my bones
For a split second
We were one
I felt as she felt
I saw what she'd seen
First I couldn't breathe
Hit with her crippling agony
I wondered how anyone
Could have the strength
To live with it day after day
I agonized over the pain in her heart
And then
I despaired
As I was lead through her memories
One after the other
Like an awful picture show
I realized she was me
That the person I woke up to
Wasn't a stranger at all
But a reflection of who I'd become
I saw in her eyes
The stories that hardened her
Over the years
Watched as every let down
Tore through her chest like fire
Saw as every person betrayed her
Belittled her
Ignored her
Pushed her down
And saw her drag herself up
Every single time
I watched her clean her own wounds
Picking the glass out of every shattered heart
And stitching it up
Just enough to keep going
Watched as she held herself
Tears overflowing like rivers
Lungs heaving until they were raw
I saw her smile in the face of adversity
At every single person
That she could never trust again
I watched her forgive
I watched her grieve
I watched her die.
With every memory that hit me
I saw her drag herself out of the dark
Every helping hand was her own
Every word of encouragement
Was hers alone
And not once was she met with love
I saw the closest to her
Rip her apart
I saw the ones she loved
Burn her to ashes and weep
As if they were the ones betrayed
I watched as her tormentors
Apologized
Cried
Begged
And moved on
I watched as she was beaten
Defeated
Scorched
Broken...
I watched as they ripped her spirit
From her body
Watched them spit on her memory
Bringing up hollow memories
And the things they'd miss
I watched as they said so many
Good things about her
As if she'd been the best they'd ever known
I watched them drink to her
Celebrate her life
Her wildness
Her loyalty
All the while stomping it into rubble
And making a fool of the person
They all claimed to love
And no one rescued her
No one stopped the pain
No one tried to save her
And so I also watched as the scene changed
When she no longer wanted anyone else
When she lost her trust
When she lost her fire
When she gave up
I watched her turn into a shell
And bury the people she'd yearned for
I watched her forget how to love
And simmer in her despair
I watched anger and blackness consume her
Watched rage and agony
Swell within her chest
And I watched her become her own monster