how am I supposed to tell you
that
it was for the physical experience
but he sounded like you when
I kept my eyes closed.

how could I explain
my need for
attention, to be desired, to be loved
without losing you.

sometimes I am weak.
sometimes
I am impulsive
although I try my hardest not to be so.
sometimes my brain caves in and I cannot find myself anymore,
not a self I'm proud to be connected to.
touch has been my escape
for so long...
and then there was

You.