I simply saw it as punishment for my sins
It's why I never noticed the darkness creeping in
My stressed mind had all my defenses down
That is how the darkness was able to get around
And now every night I'm plagued by the thoughts
That can only seem to be controlled by swallowing shots
Why is it when I'm surrounded I feel most alone
Yet I'm scared of myself when I'm on my own
This darkness began to overtake my mind last autumn
At this point I fear I've hit rock bottom
Because now I'm sitting with a knife to my wrist
Thinking that death would be true bliss
I'm left on my own my eyes glistening
hoping that somebody somewhere is listening
every night the darkness corrupts my dreams
I call to my family and friends with silent screams
Everyday I drive into the city
trying to drown my sorrow in a bottle of whiskey
or with guy night after night
I no longer bother even putting up a fight
Back in my apartment in room 955
wondering what it means to truly be alive
I realize I've been dead my whole life
so i finally set down this cruel knife
I reach for a gun and lay in my bed
The last feeling I had was cold steel to my head