Sunshine burns different in the cold
And I feel the absence of summer rays like a physical loss
Depleted
Draining

I held as much sunlight as I could
Absorbed it in my skin
When the harvest was good

Racing outside for morning light, swing door slamming behind

Barefoot on trails, catching the afternoon slant through the birch trees

Bathing in the sunset in fields of warm grass

Pulsing with the magnitude of a season inside
I wanted to take it all through the winter

Ration out the glint off the ocean
On a black river beyond

Letting the first rays of an August morning melt on my tongue on a December night

Opening my hands and finding my nails thick with soil
That earthy scent tethering me to all the green I can grow
As I scrape the unyielding ice off everything

But I spent so much on the first strikes of cold
Battling the seeping tendrils of chill that crept up my spine

I know I will not make it through the winter as a summer creature

The transition has already begun
The smell of wild flowers is gone
In it’s stead my hair snaps with a brittle sound when I turn
Hands so cold I no longer feel it till others shiver at my touch
Holding ice on my tongue but nothing melts

I will not be able to keep us warm this season but know that inside my heart still remembers.
It sings the song of summer in the dark and holds court for all.
If you need a whisper of that summer girl lay your head upon my chest.
Suffer the cold on your cheek and the frost bite that will soon follow.
Strain your ear for the melody of dandelions, the chorus of cicadas, and the vibrant cords of a heat that knows it’s own name and gives it to you freely.