I feel bad about feeling so sad for this blissful life of mine;
But then feel guilty for being too happy at the same time.
On days, oh so flawless, life feels euphoric & perfect;
Just the next days are filled with guilt & regret.
Hopping with joy on days beautiful & bright;
Miserably sobbing & choking on beautiful nights.
Feeling so **** grateful for everything I have;
Feeling so  awfully pathetic for wasting them away.
Too lazy to function or just too sick to feel lazy;
I can't even think properly, it's all too hazy.
Feeling insignificant while observing others' lives;
Feeling overwhelmed or distressed about mattering while being alive.
Faking a face that's not mine at times;
With a blank mind & senses resonating violent  ringing of malicious chimes.