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Hit like
(they'd probably hit like back)

Excuse me how dare you unfollow me
(here, I'm unfollowing you too)

Um, I really do not like your content
(but I don't wanna lose a follower so there you go)

How did this photo get only 40 likes
(deleting it now)

How did she have so many followers
(all of her posts are *******)

Wanna have dinner?
(We can spend 2 hours sitting across each other while our hands are glued to our phones.)

Hey, want to meet up?
(So we can post social media stories to make it look like we're having fun.)

Hi, how was your day?
(Oh wait, I'll just check on your feed.)

Hey, how'd everything go with that job interview you had today?
(Right, I'll just look at your FB status.)

Hi, do you ever wanna talk?
(But you know, on the phone, or like, only online?)

Connect to disconnect