it took me a while to realize
this isn’t normal
most people don’t wake up
feeling sick
they don’t have to plan when to eat
to avoid throwing up

i avoided help for so long
because i could handle the pain
but i spent so many days
huddled in a ball trying to keep my guts
from liquidating
i guess i still avoid help
because this constant
day-in-day-out pain
seems like it’ll never end