when i feel the burning sensations often i feel like if i burn my fingers i can make it quell
but not go away completely,
the burning covers my thighs and lower stomach and i push my fingers into it but it’s never enough, and yet too much
the burning mixes with a feeling i can’t describe that brings tears to my eyes
i try to push it down because the burning hurts and my fingers are covered in flame
but it’s never enough
and yet too much

dysphoria is a funny thing
i hold toys in place of what i miss
i push up and down trying to ignore
the pangs i feel in the chest that isn’t mine
dear god please let me finish this time
they all say hope will make the burning worse
but there isn’t much worse i can go from here
and yet it scares me all the same

i shudder once
a broken sound
it’s better than before
but not enough
and yet too much