i.
hands grip, tug leaving unseen marks
fingers crawl, creep under skin
lips heavy, move deep in and out
it’s sensual, snake wrapping around prey
i move with complacency
i came here for this
cold, empty self destruction
“i want this, i want him, i want—”

ii.
no one taught me the word no
i learned it on my own too late
after it had been stripped from me
my voice sniffed out before i could scream
no one asked me what i wanted
or if i wanted anything

iii.
*** is violent
destructive
damning
unrelenting
controlling
useless
power­

iv.
careful lips and careful caresses
paper thin like one of us will break
i don’t want it here
where my heart trills at every brush
where my feet feel grounded
where i know i fall into safe hands
my mind doesn’t want or wander
my feelings never waiver
but my body wonders
if there is a touch it is meant to know