they don’t know that when church bells ring,
i am fast asleep;
dreaming of the lionesses claws
and how i screamed your name
on the day where
the river froze solid in the middle of summer.

constantly calculating the curvature of your hips,
spinning in time with the earth.
i found myself dizzy and dazed as if
you had the key that unlocked my brain.

i would not have been ashamed
if the entire world saw me
if only your heartbeat synchronized with mine.
she smiled at me
and i saw heaven in her eyes,
begging to die, so maybe we’d meet
by golden gates
with tentative hands
learning how to grasp for the first time.
we’d sin in front of god
because i’d rather burn
than keep myself caged.
i saw a false lifetime
hidden inside constellations
that showed my path to you--

but i live inside myself, merely a shell
and would not have uttered a word
unless you had
grabbed me by the hand
and asked me to dance;
i would’ve burned for a lifetime with you.