It seems I will never learn
the lesson that life is trying to teach me
instead I keep hoping and praying
reaching and grasping
trying to grab hold of an illusive dream
that someone could actually love me.

Me...the person that I am...
not who others think I should be
not who the media says I must be
but the woman that I really am
with a heart so full of love
that I feel I will die if I can not give it
who would be devoted to someone
who would strive to put him first in everything
who would only want to see him happy
want to make his every dream and fantasy
become a reality.

But nature is a cruel taskmaster
and continues to deny me
sending me to my own living hell
time and time again
offering me glimpses of what it could be
and then cruelly snatching it away
so that my longing is deeper than before
the pain increasing each time
leaving only feelings of wanting to curl up in a ball
and finally say to hell with it all
to hell with life for it offers nothing.