I messed up
I loved you I'm sorry
It wasn't a mistake
Confirming it for you
Would only force me to acknowledge its existence
I'm on my knees
I shed a few tears
They slide down my face
Off of my chin
And in between my splayed hands
Shards of glass kissing my palms
Blood and tears rejoicing
I dug this grave
I stand up
I drop myself into it
I smile
Heaving up my brown crumbled blanket
Over my waist
Up to my collarbone
And over my head
The dirt absorbing the blood from the hole in my chest
I heard glass shatter
I felt a crack
I've been here before
Heard that sound before
Looking over my shoulder it hits me
You'll be here but I won't take that up
Father time gave me a specific amount
I probably shouldn't have
I spent it with you
While planning things in the background
Ribbons and pretty flowers twine up through the dirt
I close my eyes
One last breath escapes
One last bitter smile
Resentment towards myself
My fears
My insecurities
Not to mention how stubborn I am
I'll look happy but when you exhume my grave
Knock on my chest
You'll find a resounding hollowness
Bestowed by my own actions
What pretty flowers for such a sorrowful soul