If I showed you all my dark secrets
would you still be interested in me?
If I opened up my past to you
would you run and hide?
Because if you will
I don't want to tell you
all the things I keep inside.
So if you think you won't run
then keep on reading
If you really want to know me
then let me show you the dark side of me

Like this
There was one point of my life
Just last year
I wanted to die
and no one would believe me because I look so happy all the time
But it's surely not the truth
I was almost hospitalized
for wanting to not be alive
Because a teacher saw that I was sad
Took me to guidance
and asked if I thought my life was bad
Yes
Yes, I do.
"Do you hurt yourself?"
Yes
I had to pull up my sleeves and show her
How convenient it was that I was sad the night before
and cut up my arms to the point you couldn't see much skin anymore
All you could see was red lines
I'm sorry the images have to play in your mind
They told me I needed therapy
But I never went
I was almost locked away
for being in pain
But I wasn't
I tried killing myself just a couple months before that
No one will ever know
I promise you I'm okay now
I've healed a lot
and I'm not in very much pain anymore
I know it's a very dark thing to hide
and trust me, I'm not proud

And there's this
the reason I don't actually have a phone
I tell everyone it's because I just don't want one
but that's not the truth
I talked to strangers online and told them I wanted to run away
and I told of my hurt and pain
Yes, I told a lot of personal things to people I didn't know
I admit, that was stupid.
But I guess I have to let it show
Thinking back on this
I have to say, I'm ashamed and embarrassed
I lost the trust of my parents
and that's why I can't have a phone
But I've changed
I don't do that anymore the way I used to
and now I may get a phone for my birthday

I failed a class
and I know that doesn't sound too bad
but it is to me
Because I was always a good student
and got good grades
But my mind was in a bad place
and I couldn't focus on the important tasks at hand
So now, I have to take 9th grade history again.
But I'm doing okay.

Those things are the ones that stand out most to me
My dark secrets
I'm not proud
How could I be?
I ruined my life over and over.
And now I'm scared these will be the reasons you won't like me