The truth,
I want to go back.
To my old ways ,
Cold hearted & wicked .
Living the days dazed.
Being lost in the clouds.
smoking My Self gone .
No pain , no emotions,
no thoughts, no worries.
Most importantly,
No memories.

Truth is,
As miserable as the life is,
I don’t mind it.
I don’t fear the though of getting
Smoked out till I lose my mind
Completely.
I don’t fear the life Of a tweaker.

Why is this.
My life’s been **** since I’ve tried to get sober .
I’ve found no happiness,
No reasons to smile .
Life sober now ?
Is double the sadness.
I can’t manage to ever do right .
I try & try but I always fail.
Fail to succeed something awesome .

My mind is luring me back .
My addictive mind is Taking over