mother dearest
tell me when this hellhole of a house
is meant to start feeling like a home
tell me when my body
will stop feeling like a misaligned,
jumbled mess of skin and bones

mother dearest
tell me when my heart will stop hurting
over people i lost but never got to meet
tell me when i'll stop feeling sorry
for all my lost dreams
i let get crushed beneath my feet

mother dearest
tell me how i'm expected to let myself be loved
when not even you
afforded me that luxury i dreamed of
when not even you
would take me as i am; tell me
how am i meant to feel loved ever again

mother dearest
tell me how it's possible
to claim to love your own
and yet at the same time
to leave them
all
alone

mother dearest
i still love you