And thats when i realized I was losing myself That part of me that edulged in sunlight rays Late night reads and lazy days I kissed out of passion never boredom and prefer heartbreak over loneliness Life had a meaning written in leather binded journals and sparkly red ink It was soft to the touch and smelled of lemony citrus It did not make a sound Yet it had a voice so beautiful it made your mind crash like tidal waves against your skull My mind now is nothing but decay what it once was seemed to never exist not a sign left behind no emptiness as if it had never been filled The nothingness now something and it was numbing to feel That want to feel literally anything was now a desire to feel nothing like an empty tv screen buzzing alone 4:35 at night