I remember the sound of his thundering footsteps
The glass shattering
I see my mother's hands shake
His loud booming voice filling up the silence
My mother,
One second, standing
The next, sprawled across the marble floors

I remember everything, I remember it so vividly, it hurts my head
The memory does not want to go
I still see it replay with my worn out eyes
I still taste the abuse on my tongue
I still touch the mirror and see his reflection instead of mine

I remember the stories my mother used to tell me
Of how she dreamed of "the one"
Meeting my father was some kind of twisted fairytale
But now, as years passed by, she stares at him
Wondering where the hell was the man she once loved

I grew up afraid of love-
Afraid of what it is capable of,
Afraid of myself.
Wondering,
If I will grow up to be exactly like him
Wondering,
If one day I will grow to accept the roses and ignore the thorns,
Just like my mother did.

Questions still arrive in the twisted part of brain
As if it is the airport welcoming hundreds of passengers,
I ask myself,
What do you do when the love you once longed for becomes toxic?