In silence I found myself screaming, hands shaking and my heart's pounding. It is more than pain, more than emotions that kills me inside. I knew this will happen.
After everything I've been through I thought I already understand. Things that I know will never happen, thing I should have accepted years ago.
I'm in pain. So much pain that it hurts more than words, more than tears and more than anything my voiceless heart could ever feel. It cuts deep.
It was me who wanted to see those, It was me who wished for it. But why does it feels like I poked at my own heart. Why?
I have watched how the sun set and leave the day to let the moon rise at night. The burn it leaves to its body and letting the cold night heals them.
I've seen it so many times that I already lost my count. Many times and in may ways, I know I shouldn't have done it.
I shouldn't wish for the sweet young moon to meet the burning sun. Where in the first place they weren't supposed to cross their path.
I shouldn't let the moon see how the sun's shines brightly without her. I shouldn't make her feel she's not needed for him to burn.
Maybe I should have accepted how ironic the real world is. That it makes one of them set to let the other one rise.
How hard it is to see that it needs to die beautifully to let the other rise brightly. And so to the other one for them to continue to live.
Maybe that's how playful the universe is. That it makes them need one another but fated to never meet in their parallel world.
Maybe it's time to accept the fact and end my wishful thoughts that one day or one night, the world will realize that they were fated together.
For it will never happen, for it shouldn't have happened. I should have known what they are, should have seen what they're not.
So close and yet so far. So close to reach their hands but so far to embrace their arms.