I play this twisted game when I start to question why people talk to me. I call it “Are you paying attention”. Usually it’s not in person.

I’ll send a Snapchat that if you actually looked at it you would notice my glossy eyes and my red nose from crying.

But you won’t notice

I’ll smile when you tell a joke or I’ll nod in a agreement but you don’t watch my smile fade when I look away.

But you won’t notice

I’ll ask you if you’re ok to see if you ask me back. If you do respond you’ll believe me when I say I’m ok.

But you won’t notice

I’ll stay quiet and not as happy as I like to think I am. Hoping you notice and ask what’s wrong.

But you won’t notice

I want to think that you understand me. That you get me. I want to believe you listen when I’m upset. I want you to care. But when you don’t notice I know you don’t.

It’s a twisted game because you tell me you do care. And sometimes you show me you notice. Or when I’m crying you’re there for me. But if I don’t tell you something is wrong

You won’t notice