It starts
In the pit of my stomach

Roiling raging roaring

Noxious
Overtaking thought-stragglers
Forgotten words
And half-remembered smiles
That stumbled too slowly
Down the road to Rational
And It swallowed them whole
Before slithering forward
Searching for prey

It feeds
In the depths of my conscious

Eclipsing encircling engorging

Bittersweet
Splish-splash-splattering
Viscous globules of poison
And turning the knobs beneath
My television-eyes
Until everything around her
Is of the deepest green

It beats
A pulse beneath every word I speak

Replaying recreating reminding

Me
Of every word and move
She makes
Her hands on his shoulder
Her voice in his ear

It paints
Her

In shades of
Emerald-forest-field
Until her skin
Matches It

And to me
She is the color of the
Lime-green curtains
In our window and
I cannot see her
Through the verdant haze
Or speak because
My voice gives me away
Every time

As

It consumes
My thoughts

Instigating infuriating

Little red ant
Crawls over my heart
Hiding from
Rationality
In a cloud of olive-dust

Little blood-spark

Sticking stabbing stinging

My bitten tongue

Longs to be set free
From Rational
Longs to be controlled
By It
Longs to ask her
Why exactly she’s

Playing performing pretending

Not to know
When she should
That he’s

Not hers...


He’s mine.