I could have any troubled girl I wanted
They’re just through a phone screen

I could have any stupid girl I wanted
I would just have to sell ****

I could have any unconscious girl I wanted
They’re just at a party lying face down *** up,
from holding too many glasses up,
I mean who could that pass up?
What else do you think a frat does?

Umm gross...

I’ll just stay at home
Which is where?

Halfway through a bottle is a warm place to be
Buds make good friends,
And trees hug back if you’re lucky
The real danger from cigarettes is a rotator cuff injury
From repetitive motions
Ignore the choking
And feed into the cancer machine

If I only had the money
A depression nap at a friend’s house is all I need

I could have any high-school girl I wanted
But now they’re too simple
Just put Chicken nuggets, Veganism, or puppies on a tinder

Or learn your anatomy
And it’s all in the strokes
One size fits them all
And it all becomes rote

I could have any relatable girl I wanted
But now it’s only for the ego
Which is cracking up as I plaster up a new soul-fixing placebo
Confidence from compliments
And I wish I was narcissistic
But just in case you missed it

My facade is splitting at the ******* seams
Dichotomy is our nature
Hitting covers off the *****
We need to chase our dreams

What will lay waste to a mind that never stops is insecurity
Not knowing your value makes it easy to get flirty
Makes you feel twice as *****
When you make someone feel the way you wish you felt inside
But then you take it back to spare them from wasting anymore time
Your brain stuck on overtime, and slow-mo rewind, and the music you listen to mixes with it and all plays back on the same ******* channel

But then you take it back to basics and start ******* around with psychedelics again
Who ever knew that pretty girls wouldn’t always be a head-trip?

I could have any normal girl I wanted
But now I just want a dark room
And silence
If only I didn’t have to open up and make out with her inside it

I could have any girl
If we just breathed in silence

I could have any girl
If my thoughts weren’t so violent
If I didn’t picture insanity
Whenever I look in a mirror and find it
Behind eyes I know have been capable of it this whole time

They have that curios ember
A white flash in a chocolate amber
With that faint ring of purple
And a pitch black center

I wish I could stick a needle in and take that silvery glint out
it’s white hot like the flash of a flint against gun powder
It just wants to make trouble
It adds bubbles to the puddles of personality
And in actuality it’s the only thing that keeps me alive when I wake up

I could have anybody
Except parents who cared, someone who understands,
And people I always made sure stay put
Like a shelf full of dolls
Like that outdoor playhouse
Like I play God

I think the problem through
I have human nature figured out
Almostly
I have myself figured out
Just a novelty
I’m incredibly cheap
Since philosophers are just writers without jobs
And jazz musicians are snobs
Former potheads are slobs
And God is still lodged in the eons of thoughts
When I wish I could take a break from this,
Part-time atheist
But I still can’t ignore he exists!

I could have any face I wanted
But I’ll just press mine up against hers until I feel better

I could have any pillow.
I still favor her sweater

I could have any romantic moment
But instead of love letters

I write poems
And I write them for me.