It’s three in the morning and the darkness is suffocating
A picture of a happy family rests next to me
But I haven’t known them for a long time
I think back
Where we ever really happy?

Please stop looking at me like that
Please stop yelling at me
I’m not worthless, or lazy, or stupid
Am I?
Please tell me you were joking
Tell me water isn’t thicker than blood
Where did you go?
Why did you leave?






I toss and turn
The invisible chains of the past cut deep into my wrists
The voices scream and my head pounds
Tears spill out of my eyes and blood gushes from where I’ve bitten my lip too hard
Please save your little girl
Please tell me you still love me

Broken is my mind
The smile is a lie
So go ahead, friends and classmates, and push and punch and beat me
Abuse my body like they abused my heart and brain
Please don’t stop until I’m not crying anymore
Please don’t stop until I stop breathing
Please **** me, it’ll be a better fate

What is this?
Therapy?
So you finally realize that your child is broken?
You finally admit it, I’m a mistake?
You want me to become something?
To be just like you?
To have no voice?
Yes, of course, whatever you say
I’ll never be good enough for you, will I?

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?
I’m broken but happy and getting better
No, don’t ever call me that name again
Never call me baby girl
Who you thought I was never existed
I was just trying to be something you wanted
So please, leave me alone
Please just go
Please let me heal and grieve
Please know I love you no matter what I say
But I, we, can never be the same
So please be proud and happy with the fact you almost killed your daughter
Please never forget
Please do me this one favor
Please?