isn't it amazing
how one day you are just going to get up
and never look back

never looking back,
hand in hand with someone who is never
going to leave,
without so much as a trace
of the misunderstandings and hardships of your past

is that too much to believe?
am i being unrealistic?
am i no longer an optimist,
but a dreamer
stuck in fantasies that may never happen

i have to go on
believing that, though
otherwise,
i'm not sure how i'll continue life

i know
after hours sitting at the table
discussing the soul and the afterlife and
/our true destiny/ with my drunk aunties

that there has to be something
i know of my own self-worth
but there is more

i know now
how to live for myself
and now
i can love someone else

but

how's that going for me?

i'm not entirely sure
when i'm going to get up
i'm not entirely sure
when i'm going to take someone's hand
and walk,
carefree to whatever it is that is waiting for us

i'm not sure,
but a girl can dream, right?
isn't that the one thing i cAn do?

i sure hope so.