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You Must be "Late" for A Bargain!

The advert we saw, advised:  "Don't be Late"
It's a bargain that is simply so great,
You must not allow your chances to slip by!
For this is surely your best time to buy?

They'd no description of the goods on tender,
And even less on the advertising vendor,
No specified time.  No hour; day, nor date.
Just a time in the future.  So it did state!

But promising a "Lifetime Guarantee"
It sounded good to my wife and to me.
Though,  just between me, the gatepost and you
It seemed just a little too good to be true!

When given no more than a "sell-by" date,
How would we know if our "offer" was "Late?"
But, swayed by the huge savings suggestion,
We thought to inspect the "bargain" in question.

However, on arrival we found we'd to wait!
The deal offered which was for those that came "late!"
Was surplus goods, and "hard-to-move" stock!
I admit this came as a bit of a shock,

But I'm confident that most folks would feel,
That to possess these goods was not a great deal?
Being not something one buys for oneself,
Nor an artifact, which is prized for itself!

It was a thing for which few show desire.
Though the craftsmanship?  That we could admire!
But to arrive "Late"?  Unable to barter,
Even frugal folks know that's a "non-starter!"
  
SO :

Deciding that, when we're found to be "Late" ?
And "Savings" are now your concern. Cremate!
Then once there's been time enough for us to burn.
We'd ask you'd store our few ashes, in an urn!

Rhymer.  July 16th, 2018