stagnancy.
or, maybe falling very gradually,
falling so slow that the ground is unobtainable.
i can’t even see past the fog in my vision,
cloudy and hard to see through like the thoughts in my mind,
almost as if they are one and the same,
the fog and my brain.
i am a mystery,
you don’t know what you’re walking into,
and if you manage to push through i guarantee that you will get lost.
my inability to trust your mere words will result in you looping back to the start of your journey.
and for that i am sorry,
but if you can’t clear the grim thoughts that occupy my mind, i encourage you to give up.
find somebody who has less fog so that you can easily make your way to their heart.
and i will remain in the same position you found me in,
descending so slow that i forget i’m even falling,
and trust me i’ll be okay.
as i continue to fall, i close my eyes,
and it’s almost like i’m floating.
and for that moment my mind is clear,
i open my eyes and the fog is gone.
i see nothing.
no floor,
no walls,
nothing.
then i realize i was never falling,
i’ve been flying,
flying so high that the ground is not visible,
i’ve been flying so long that my thoughts became cloudy.
but now i am full of clarity and have come to the realization that i’ve been looking for something for so long that i got lost.
so now i will focus on myself and continue to soar,
and if the fog ever captures me again,
i will close my eyes.