do I want that other ruled by the heart like me would that be better, one with the words like mine and the thoughts like mine would I feel less different, less odd, less trouble? Would I miss that dark pinch somewhere inside when the edges rub together and they don't mesh and it's more like sandpaper than silk that thing that makes me try harder, live in the pain more, be everything good at 3 am would I grow bored if he had all the right words is the trying for the words that don't come more intoxicating than the ready flow?
Maybe I like putting in the work? Not really sure..