Because it’s been months or years
since you or him
and I don’t know if there will ever be an us in my future
but the mechanical thunder of my air conditioning unit sparks up conversations with the air more efficiently than I can ever hope to develop such a skill in this life time
and that’s my reality when I wake up every morning dreading the day
things stop working out
and I finally listen to more than three artists and achieve
all of the hopes and aspirations
I’m capable of but haven’t conjured up in my mind to set my sights on and work towards with every sliver of my essence as I did with convincing someone else I’m worthy of not only their love but my own.