I will wash myself in light. I will scrape away my hands on sunlight
and leave myself drenched in stardust, the kind of light you could
see yourself loving and I'll share it with you if you want me to. I'll
let you scrape off the flecks of moon or I'll run my hands all over
you and leave them in your hair. I think you'd like that, wouldn't you?
you'd like for me to leave little pieces of myself on you and it's
understandable. it's not so bad to share your light when it's someone
you can see yourself being with in the dark. we could exist in the
sunlight and the complete darkness and I'd be fine with either or
both if it was with you. don't mind me, fist-in-mouth boy, a boy with
nothing but love for you. you don't have to listen to me when I
say you're my boy but I hope you know I say it because I want to
wrap myself in the crook of your elbow and live there for a while.
I want you to taste me on your tongue like copper shavings or
summer berries and I will look at you like the sunrise or falling snow
because I can only compare you to beautiful scenery. you can be
the ocean and I'll be the ocean floor. as long as you're surrounding me
no one else has to know how far I stretch myself to return the favor.
I mean that in the best way possible. I have to try harder than other
people to let you know how amazing you are and I'll admit, sometimes
I worry other people could tell you that in a voice softer than mine ever
will be or show you with a heart not covered in burn marks. and I'll
only ever always be secondhand smoke hoping to be fresh air in
your lungs. sorry about that. what a clingy line. there goes the fist
again; taking itself out and letting me embarrass myself. I know you
won't mind. so I guess I should stop being so afraid to tell you I love
you; stop skipping around the subject and painting you scenes where
you're the sun and I'm worshiping you but I'm not as good with words
as you think I am. I can stretch those three words into a hundred others
but I can't say them plain and simple. and you know what I mean, don't you?
it's a scary feeling and I can't make it go away but I hope you'll be patient
because eventually I'll say them without an abbreviation or a joke or some
other distraction from the main point. it's cliche to say but I've always been
afraid of heights and ferris wheels were my favorite ride, so it makes sense
that I could fall and fall and still be afraid. fist-in-mouth could ruin everything but
somehow I don't think it will.