I lack complete memories there exists but fragments
From incidents that took place sometime ago
Like ricochets left behind in the wake of a fired bullet
They contain no context nothing tangible to recall  
But abstract retentions from the distant past such as my father’s voice
Or my mother’s smile intertwined with my brother s laugh
My company psychiatrist diagnosis is PTSD
I whole heartedly object and resentfully disagree
It was like this before the second Gulf even before Kandahar
Ever before the war broke my bleeding heart
The immortal last words of Andy to his best friend Red
Pretty much sums up my infatuation on lost time and absent reminiscences which I won’t evoke
As I choose not to because I rather not; hence I quote
‘’You know what the Mexicans says about the Pacific
They say it has no memory
That’s where I want to live the rest of my life
A warm place with no memory’’