I need to stand up,
but I am to heavy;
apathetic; hollow.
I wasn't expecting this,
I'm so sorry.
I failed you.
I can't distract myself from reality.
This is all my fault.
I should have treated you better,
I was just so tired; overworked; overburdened.
I brought you into my hurricane
only to be buried a child.
I'm so sorry I couldn't teach you,
to find a way to make you listen;
make you look up.
I loved you to death,
I'm sorry I was to jaded to give you what you needed.
I miss you so much,
I didn't expect this to be so heavy.
I keep seeing your joyous face,
and then the hole in the ground.
Child, I am so sorry.
You deserved better,
you deserved a long life,
you deserved open air.
I did the best I could,
but I can't make you look up,
I can't make their car stop,
I can't wake you up.
I failed you young one.
I'm so sorry.