I know you told me to call you when I felt I wanted to die
But god, I can't let you see me cry anymore.
Because I know you can't hold my hand
And I know you can't kiss my cheek or wipe my tears
And that kills me.
My hands may be shaking
And my heart may be aching
But I just don't want to be a problem anymore.
I know you said you still loved me
But I know it's not in the way it once was
And that too, kills me.
But I'm trying
God, I'm trying
To not dream of growing old with you
To not wish to be yours
It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
God, I feel annoying just writing this
I'm sorry to keep bothering you this way
I'll go.