i hate airports
i hate the dull colors, the staff who do nothing but the usual routine
i hate the food, if that's any good
but most of all, i hate the idea of parting, the idea of saying goodbye
no matter how near or how far you may go, just knowing that you'll be away from my grasp is painful enough
i hate hearing the plans for your trip
seeing your bags packed in the living room, boxes set just for extra storage
i hate the feeling that something's missing in a home
the voices i once heard, the noise which i didn't mind
they all part on a stupid plane
i hate that "back to normal" air you leave behind
the ride going to the airport
please, just, i don't want to go but you asked me to
every time we inch closer to the airport, i look at you and i want to beg for you to stay but that won't do any good
not anymore, it never will
who am i to mess up your ticket and your flight, right?
the road signs that indicate how close we are
i don't wanna see them
but i have to
i wanna know how much time i have before you get on that plane
i can already imagine the ride back
in that ride alone, you've already left a big mark of your absence
i'd wonder why i could finally move my legs around
then i'll figure it's because your luggage is finally gone
even the seat you sat on is enough to get me to tears
anyway, please don't take photographs
i hate that too
please don't capture this moment where the minute you go in, it'll be the last i'll see of you, at least on the soil i stand on
don't give me a hug, for god's sake don't give me a hug
if anything, i might never let you go
it'll be a while before i get another one of your hugs, so please don't give me a hug
don't give me a hug just to let me feel the emptiness once you walk away
thing is, i'm not the only one feeling this sadness
right and left there are goodbyes
there are couples who are a few goodbyes away from a long distance relationship
there is a kid clinging to her dad's leg asking him to stay or take her along because he's working abroad
there are people sharing words to family members who live far away
there's so many people feeling the same but... why does it still hurt
"be good okay?"
i promise
"we'll call when we get there"
because we both know we won't be able to feel each other physically anymore
"don't cry"
just give me a second
"we'll be back soon"
don't give me this uncertainty
"bye"
don't say that
"bye"
please don't say that
"bye"
don't say that, it'll make me regret ever seeing you arrive in the first place
"bye"
don't say that...

i hate airports