Just want to let you know. You will suffer from depression. You can't always be happy. Life can balance or unbalance you out. The first time will be hard. It will drain you, it will put you into dark places, you will lose faith and wonder if you'll return to normal. Count it as a phase once it evanesce. If your anything like me it will come back and this one will be the worst. It will do things to you and make you do thing to yourself. You may shed tears or blood. You may lose your love or life. You will disconnect and lose your mind. The best thing you can do is suffer through It. Yes you will be alone, people say they care but they don't. They'll never understand your burdens and what drove you to this state. Just pray 'til it thoroughly goes away. Fake being happy and smile until it becomes genuine again. The light is out but the belief in you isn't. It will be frequent in your memories but no worries tell yourself it's over with. Just remember it's part of life, part of you, then you'll truly realize what happiness really is.