i don't know, i don't know, i don't know what to do.
I feel like im going to ***** every last thing inside of me out onto the floor and it'll turn to acid and eat me up from the outside with it.
I feel like im going to ***** up my heart and that'll be the end of me!
Or i feel as if ill throw up my heart and it'll keep pumping blood out and it'll pour out onto the floor and i'll never get to die.
Ill just sit there and suffer as i cough up blood.

i feel like screaming so loud that my neighbors may believe im being slaughtered by my abusive father, but somehow i don't even have the energy to sit up- how would i find the energy to shout?

I feel like taking the sharpest blade in the house so i can use all of my remaining strength to dip the tip into the skin underneath my throat, and to rip it across the fair surface.  

i feel like screaming to the world that im sorry for everything and that im just so sorry. Everyone tells me that i apologize way too often but it's the only thing i can ever think to say. I'm a broken record and i keep skipping and jumping all over the place and the only thing that anyone is able to get out of me is the word "sorry" and it's frustrating. Its frustrating for me and everyone else.

IM SORRY.