May 2018
I used to imagine how I would tell you. Day dreams came often and whenever we weren’t talking, it felt like I couldn’t wait to close my eyes and see your face again. How would I tell you that I wanted to know your soul? My brain would think of you, often bringing you up randomly to see if my friends would help me figure this out without quite telling them what I wanted from them. No one knew what I wanted. No one knew how much I thought about you. Jokes were constant, trying to play off what I would say if it sounded a bit too serious. I couldn’t let anyone know because I couldn’t risk scaring you off.
Touches felt like walking into a warm house after shoveling snow. I yearned to be near you all the time, to accidentally brush against you in hopes that you would feel it too. I tried not to stare long, I knew that would make it obvious, but sometimes it was too hard not to. Since you were brought into my conscious, I haven’t let go of the thought of you.
We didn’t seem like a good fit in my mind at first. I wasn’t sure if you really wanted a relationship or if the idea of one was your thing. You struck me as someone who liked to be alone, who liked to be exceedingly independent, who wouldn’t have the same interests as me. Regardless, that was just what was painted of you. My heart felt more, I wanted to know more. I wanted to know the girl under the skin, behind the face. I wanted to know you.
Slowly, I saw you. I saw your soul and was able to learn more about you than ever before. Then, I really started to fall. I wasn’t even sure how you felt, but the day dreams occurred more often now. During class, during work, during homework, before bed. Any buzz of my phone made my heart jump hoping you would be the name that popped up on it when I checked. You’d become someone I wanted to be around constantly.
Then our lips touched and the nod of our heads showed that we had been hiding it from each other all along. Four hours more into the morning and we were telling stories about how we danced around letting each other know how we felt. It was a relief to finally let that out because no one even knew how I felt about you. Waking up next to you that next morning felt like a dream, I wondered if last night was real.
Each day since then has been a blessing. Growing our love daily has become one of my favorite things to watch, as well as learning a new way we’re perfect for each other each day. Life next to your side just flows effortlessly, as if nothing could really hurt me that badly. I take each day at a time, but I know that as I look in to my future, I can only hope that you’re the one I see standing next to me.
Touches felt like walking into a warm house after shoveling snow. I yearned to be near you all the time, to accidentally brush against you in hopes that you would feel it too. I tried not to stare long, I knew that would make it obvious, but sometimes it was too hard not to. Since you were brought into my conscious, I haven’t let go of the thought of you.
We didn’t seem like a good fit in my mind at first. I wasn’t sure if you really wanted a relationship or if the idea of one was your thing. You struck me as someone who liked to be alone, who liked to be exceedingly independent, who wouldn’t have the same interests as me. Regardless, that was just what was painted of you. My heart felt more, I wanted to know more. I wanted to know the girl under the skin, behind the face. I wanted to know you.
Slowly, I saw you. I saw your soul and was able to learn more about you than ever before. Then, I really started to fall. I wasn’t even sure how you felt, but the day dreams occurred more often now. During class, during work, during homework, before bed. Any buzz of my phone made my heart jump hoping you would be the name that popped up on it when I checked. You’d become someone I wanted to be around constantly.
Then our lips touched and the nod of our heads showed that we had been hiding it from each other all along. Four hours more into the morning and we were telling stories about how we danced around letting each other know how we felt. It was a relief to finally let that out because no one even knew how I felt about you. Waking up next to you that next morning felt like a dream, I wondered if last night was real.
Each day since then has been a blessing. Growing our love daily has become one of my favorite things to watch, as well as learning a new way we’re perfect for each other each day. Life next to your side just flows effortlessly, as if nothing could really hurt me that badly. I take each day at a time, but I know that as I look in to my future, I can only hope that you’re the one I see standing next to me.
