When I was a kid,
I always fancied the idea of love,
Saw my elder sisters go out on dates,
And overheard them talking on the phone..
Saw them smiling to themselves,
And  hiding their faces in the pillow..

I always wondered how it felt like to be in love,
The flowers, The chocolates
The gifts, The surprises
The cliched dates
The romantic candlelight
The kiss under the moon
The sweet love-making
Magical!!! I had imagined

But it turns out,
That love was not meant for me
For me,
Love is pain
Love is unworthiness
Love is your heart ripping off
Love is feeling that ache literally in your stomach and chest
Love is torment
Love is drowning in toxin
Love is wanting so bad to escape
Love is crying yourself to sleep
Love is sitting on the bathroom floor at 2 am and sobbing
Love is doubting your self- existence
Love is wanting to take your own life
Love is hell....